What I'm thankful for:
*homemade pasta (My amazing hubs made dinner last night. If I had made it, it would have included store bought pasta. But Mike made lovely homemade pasta....and this amazing chicken parmesan)
*my sister
*sleep
*coffee
*less-scheduled days
*chocolate, baked goods, etc (yes, I love my carbs!)
What I want:
*to finish this Children's EFL lesson that I'm working on quickly and easily.
*to get some things mailed out today or tomorrow
*To be more on top of things...or rather, to be content knowing that I accomplished what I could, today, and every day
*to remember that I live for an audience of One
*to know God more and deeper
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Out of my control
I'm an oldest child. A recovering perfectionist. An independent person. Due to these, and other, factors, I like control. This is hard to admit, because after all, who wants to admit that they are a control freak?
A good Christian is supposed to trust God and leave it all in His hands, right? Isn't that so much easier said than done? As my friend Julie once said, "I put it in God's hands, but I like to keep my pinky on it."
Being married is a huge blessing, but it definitely sands off your rough edges. MY rough edges. Getting married has helped me to see how much I can be a "control freak" - sometimes with little things that don't really matter.
As much as I would sometimes like to control all of the details of my life, I know that I can't. And I'm thankful that I can't, because God's plans truly are better than mine - bumps, mountains, valleys, and all.
Really, it is all a matter of perspective and attitude. What's that adage? - "You can tell a lot about a person by how they handle a rainy day, lost luggage, and...some other situation." Well, God gave me a good reminder a few weeks ago. He reminded me that I am NOT in control. The adage for that week was, "You can tell a lot about Kari by how she handles a cold, a gray hair, and a dead computer power cord."
These three things were out of my control. I haven't had a cold in a very long time, which was something I was rather enjoying. Then, a few weeks ago, a cold struck from out of nowhere. I was frustrated. The congestion. The nagging cough. No one likes it. The truth is, as much as you take care of yourself, sometimes you're still going to get sick. I am not ultimately in control of my immune system.
The second thing I am not in control of is when my hair turns gray. I found my first gray hair in the summer of 2009. (It is taped in my journal for posterity's sake.:) I was a bit frustrated by it. Twenty-seven at the time, I didn't think it was fair that my hair was turning gray when I barely looked eighteen. I hadn't seen another one since. I was hoping it was a fluke. My reaction was much the same when I spotted another unmistakably gray hair a few weeks ago. For the rest of that day, I was paranoid every time I glanced in the mirror, thinking I had spotted another gray hair. I guess I was hoping to not have gray hair until at least my forties, but maybe that wasn't a realistic expectation. And again, I realized it's a matter of perspective. After all, I have friends and family members who have gone prematurely gray. I found one gray hair, which is buried in a mass of curly dark brown hairs. Another gray hair here and there over the next few years is not something to lose sleep over.
The third thing that I could not control that week was that my laptop's power cord gave up the ghost. Again, no warning. All of a sudden, it just no longer worked. Thankfully, it was still covered under warranty, but of course it wasn't that simple to replace. I'll spare you the gory details, but after multiple phone calls to (a certain company)'s representatives in two countries and visiting a third, followed by more phone calls, a new power cord was mailed to me. And thanks to amazingly speedy German delivery, a new power cord was in my hands the next day (at no monetary cost to me - just my time and phone bill).
All this to say, I was reminded that week that there are many things in life that I cannot control. It's better to roll with the punches and remember what I have to be thankful for, instead of grumbling and being frustrated. As my Mom says, "Look for the blessing, not the burden."
A good Christian is supposed to trust God and leave it all in His hands, right? Isn't that so much easier said than done? As my friend Julie once said, "I put it in God's hands, but I like to keep my pinky on it."
Being married is a huge blessing, but it definitely sands off your rough edges. MY rough edges. Getting married has helped me to see how much I can be a "control freak" - sometimes with little things that don't really matter.
As much as I would sometimes like to control all of the details of my life, I know that I can't. And I'm thankful that I can't, because God's plans truly are better than mine - bumps, mountains, valleys, and all.
Really, it is all a matter of perspective and attitude. What's that adage? - "You can tell a lot about a person by how they handle a rainy day, lost luggage, and...some other situation." Well, God gave me a good reminder a few weeks ago. He reminded me that I am NOT in control. The adage for that week was, "You can tell a lot about Kari by how she handles a cold, a gray hair, and a dead computer power cord."
These three things were out of my control. I haven't had a cold in a very long time, which was something I was rather enjoying. Then, a few weeks ago, a cold struck from out of nowhere. I was frustrated. The congestion. The nagging cough. No one likes it. The truth is, as much as you take care of yourself, sometimes you're still going to get sick. I am not ultimately in control of my immune system.
The second thing I am not in control of is when my hair turns gray. I found my first gray hair in the summer of 2009. (It is taped in my journal for posterity's sake.:) I was a bit frustrated by it. Twenty-seven at the time, I didn't think it was fair that my hair was turning gray when I barely looked eighteen. I hadn't seen another one since. I was hoping it was a fluke. My reaction was much the same when I spotted another unmistakably gray hair a few weeks ago. For the rest of that day, I was paranoid every time I glanced in the mirror, thinking I had spotted another gray hair. I guess I was hoping to not have gray hair until at least my forties, but maybe that wasn't a realistic expectation. And again, I realized it's a matter of perspective. After all, I have friends and family members who have gone prematurely gray. I found one gray hair, which is buried in a mass of curly dark brown hairs. Another gray hair here and there over the next few years is not something to lose sleep over.
The third thing that I could not control that week was that my laptop's power cord gave up the ghost. Again, no warning. All of a sudden, it just no longer worked. Thankfully, it was still covered under warranty, but of course it wasn't that simple to replace. I'll spare you the gory details, but after multiple phone calls to (a certain company)'s representatives in two countries and visiting a third, followed by more phone calls, a new power cord was mailed to me. And thanks to amazingly speedy German delivery, a new power cord was in my hands the next day (at no monetary cost to me - just my time and phone bill).
All this to say, I was reminded that week that there are many things in life that I cannot control. It's better to roll with the punches and remember what I have to be thankful for, instead of grumbling and being frustrated. As my Mom says, "Look for the blessing, not the burden."
Monday, February 21, 2011
Like a glow-worm in the dark...
"Perhaps, weary soul, the Lord is doing this to develop your graces. There are some of your graces that would never be discovered if it were not for your trials. Do you not know that your faith never looks as good in summer as it does in winter? Love is too often like a glow-worm, showing but little light unless it is surrounded by darkness. Hope itself is like a star--not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity.........Well, Christian, may this not account for the troubles through which you are passing? Is the Lord bringing out your graces and making them grow? Is it for this reason He contends with you?"
~Charles Spurgeon
~Charles Spurgeon
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Celebrating Mike
Yesterday was Mike's birthday. Words cannot adequately express how grateful I am for him. He is so good to me and for me. I want to love him well and show him how much I appreciate him every day, but especially yesterday, I wanted to make sure he felt celebrated. Sometimes it is the little things, right? Here's some of the ways he was celebrated:
*Oodles of birthday wishes on Facebook. Mike was in awe of how many people wished him a happy birthday.
*We had a meeting during lunch time at school, and I showed up with some of Mike's favorite cookies (Cherry Oatmeal Chocolate Chip) - fresh out of the oven. (Note to self: fresh out of the oven cookies don't travel very well, but they still taste good! :)
*Mike's Mom sent his birthday box early, and had instructed me to open it up and hide/keep the gifts until his actual birthday (she knows him all too well - he would have peaked/tried to figure them out:) When he came home from school, all of the gifts & cards that I had stashed away were sitting on the table waiting for him. After he opened them, he said, "So where was your hiding place?" I said, "I'm not going to tell you - I might need to use it again sometime!:)"
*We went out for a good German meal at a nearby restaurant. I had only been there before on busy summer nights. Last night it was us, a table of what I assume to be local men, and the owners. It was great! We are thankful to at least know enough German to get by, understand them, and use no English. Language learning is a slow process, but we're thankful that we're beginning to feel more and more confident and comfortable with the language.
*Phone calls from family and friends wishing Mike a Happy Birthday
*And we finished off the day with a special dessert I had made for Mike....Not sure what to call it - a torte maybe? A layer of cake/biscuit, a layer of almond cream, and a layer of cherries. (The man loves cherries - can you tell?)
Happy 29th Birthday, Mike! :) (I think I need to start planning next year's shin-dig now...:)
*Oodles of birthday wishes on Facebook. Mike was in awe of how many people wished him a happy birthday.
*We had a meeting during lunch time at school, and I showed up with some of Mike's favorite cookies (Cherry Oatmeal Chocolate Chip) - fresh out of the oven. (Note to self: fresh out of the oven cookies don't travel very well, but they still taste good! :)
*Mike's Mom sent his birthday box early, and had instructed me to open it up and hide/keep the gifts until his actual birthday (she knows him all too well - he would have peaked/tried to figure them out:) When he came home from school, all of the gifts & cards that I had stashed away were sitting on the table waiting for him. After he opened them, he said, "So where was your hiding place?" I said, "I'm not going to tell you - I might need to use it again sometime!:)"
*We went out for a good German meal at a nearby restaurant. I had only been there before on busy summer nights. Last night it was us, a table of what I assume to be local men, and the owners. It was great! We are thankful to at least know enough German to get by, understand them, and use no English. Language learning is a slow process, but we're thankful that we're beginning to feel more and more confident and comfortable with the language.
*Phone calls from family and friends wishing Mike a Happy Birthday
*And we finished off the day with a special dessert I had made for Mike....Not sure what to call it - a torte maybe? A layer of cake/biscuit, a layer of almond cream, and a layer of cherries. (The man loves cherries - can you tell?)
Happy 29th Birthday, Mike! :) (I think I need to start planning next year's shin-dig now...:)
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Aim at Heaven
"Aim at heaven and you get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."
~C.S. Lewis
~C.S. Lewis
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Lyrical lessons
Sometimes, song lyrics speak the strongest lessons to me. They remind me of powerful truths. They encourage and strengthen my heart. Sometimes, they even give me that "umph" I need to keep going.
While teaching in Ohio, I would often listen to the same song on repeat on my drive to school. My second year of teaching was especially difficult, so I repeated songs A LOT that year. My drive was fifteen to twenty minutes long, so that meant I listened to the song three or four times. Which song I repeated changed from time to time. But what this did was solidified the Truth that the song spoke in my heart and mind, so that it stayed there all day. It was the reminder that I needed to get through the day.
I'm currently in a season of life where, simply put, I'm fighting a battle of truth and lies. We all have struggles, and I'm at a point where I feel like my struggles have me stuck in a rut. The reality is that God is bringing healing in my life, but it is a veeeeeeeeeery slooooooooooow process. Much slower than I would choose, if I were in control.
Which brings me to lyrical lesson #1, taken from "Break Open the Sky" by Tobymac (side note: my husband finds it amusing that I love Tobymac, but the guy has great lyrics and a style that I feel exudes the freedom that comes from true grace.) One line in that song says "Won't you turn off gravity so we can fly?" When I first heard this line, my thought was, " Turning off gravity? How realistic is that?!" ** But then....Aren't our requests to God sometimes that absurd?
So, too, is my cry of desperation for God to end this struggle now. It's an absurd request. Yes, it's an honest request, coming from the depths of my heart when I feel like this struggle will never get better or never end. As I said to Mike last night, I don't want to be the person I am right now for the rest of my life.
But if God just picked me up out of this struggle right now, it would be like half-baking a cake, or only halfway firing a piece of pottery. Who wants a half-baked cake or unfinished pottery? (I seem to have developed a habit of unintentionally half-baking brownies recently, but that's another story for another time.)
A friend sent me a video of the song "Stronger" by Mandisa. As I sat here this morning listening to it, the lyrics were EXACTLY what my heart needed to hear. (I love how God does that!)
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
**Please note: This Tobymac song speaks of Christ's second coming to rapture his church. I know that my reaction was, therefore, "out of context," but it was my reaction when I heard that one line, without listening to the meaning of the whole song.
While teaching in Ohio, I would often listen to the same song on repeat on my drive to school. My second year of teaching was especially difficult, so I repeated songs A LOT that year. My drive was fifteen to twenty minutes long, so that meant I listened to the song three or four times. Which song I repeated changed from time to time. But what this did was solidified the Truth that the song spoke in my heart and mind, so that it stayed there all day. It was the reminder that I needed to get through the day.
I'm currently in a season of life where, simply put, I'm fighting a battle of truth and lies. We all have struggles, and I'm at a point where I feel like my struggles have me stuck in a rut. The reality is that God is bringing healing in my life, but it is a veeeeeeeeeery slooooooooooow process. Much slower than I would choose, if I were in control.
Which brings me to lyrical lesson #1, taken from "Break Open the Sky" by Tobymac (side note: my husband finds it amusing that I love Tobymac, but the guy has great lyrics and a style that I feel exudes the freedom that comes from true grace.) One line in that song says "Won't you turn off gravity so we can fly?" When I first heard this line, my thought was, " Turning off gravity? How realistic is that?!" ** But then....Aren't our requests to God sometimes that absurd?
So, too, is my cry of desperation for God to end this struggle now. It's an absurd request. Yes, it's an honest request, coming from the depths of my heart when I feel like this struggle will never get better or never end. As I said to Mike last night, I don't want to be the person I am right now for the rest of my life.
But if God just picked me up out of this struggle right now, it would be like half-baking a cake, or only halfway firing a piece of pottery. Who wants a half-baked cake or unfinished pottery? (I seem to have developed a habit of unintentionally half-baking brownies recently, but that's another story for another time.)
A friend sent me a video of the song "Stronger" by Mandisa. As I sat here this morning listening to it, the lyrics were EXACTLY what my heart needed to hear. (I love how God does that!)
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
**Please note: This Tobymac song speaks of Christ's second coming to rapture his church. I know that my reaction was, therefore, "out of context," but it was my reaction when I heard that one line, without listening to the meaning of the whole song.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Gratitude Journal #30
What I'm thankful for:*Beautiful sunshine and spring-like weather (is it really only February?!) that we've had the past few days
*Lessons that God is teaching me, even though they aren't always easy
*Reminders of Truth
*my amazing husband
*Music, especially music that speaks to my heart
*my Bible and journal...and colored Stabilo pens :)
*the truth that grace isn't dependent on who I am or what I do
*the freedom that true grace brings
*the truth that God wants me to pour out my heart to Him in complete honesty...even when there are tears of frustration or sadness
*friends
*the miracle and gift of newborn babies...they remind me of the amazing Creator God
*all of the people who stand with us in prayers and giving...without you, we wouldn't be here
What I want:
*Creativity and ideas as I work on this Children's EFL project I am currently a part of
*To regain control of my email inbox...it's a bit of a mess
*To have more realistic expectations of myself
*To patiently allow God to do His work in me
*To sit quietly and rest in the Hand of God
*To talk to my Mom today (it's been a while)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Gratitude Journal #29
What I'm thankful for:
*new friends
*Drain-o (or as the bottle I have says, "Super Rohr Frei") - I don't know what M. did to the kitchen sink, but it was clogged. Thanks to those lovely chemicals I poured down it, it is no longer clogged.
*Friends with whom I can "safely" share my whole heart
*grace and what I'm learning about it
*Glimpses of sunshine and blue skies this morning
What I want:
*To be more patient as I learn what God wants to teach me
*To not strive in my own power
*To have more energy (yup, it's been one of those days)
*new friends
*Drain-o (or as the bottle I have says, "Super Rohr Frei") - I don't know what M. did to the kitchen sink, but it was clogged. Thanks to those lovely chemicals I poured down it, it is no longer clogged.
*Friends with whom I can "safely" share my whole heart
*grace and what I'm learning about it
*Glimpses of sunshine and blue skies this morning
What I want:
*To be more patient as I learn what God wants to teach me
*To not strive in my own power
*To have more energy (yup, it's been one of those days)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Gratitude Journal #28
What I'm thankful for:
*Alertness and safety during an early morning airport run this morning
*Listening to some good Truth-speaking songs while driving in the car the past two days (driving here is not a daily part of my life as it was in the US)
*Friends
*Truth
*Encouragement
*Emails
*Good days
*That I can't nullify grace (Gal 2:20)
What I want:
*To live in God's strength, not my own
*To truly grasp God's grace and His love for me
*To selflessly love the people around me, especially my husband
*Alertness and safety during an early morning airport run this morning
*Listening to some good Truth-speaking songs while driving in the car the past two days (driving here is not a daily part of my life as it was in the US)
*Friends
*Truth
*Encouragement
*Emails
*Good days
*That I can't nullify grace (Gal 2:20)
What I want:
*To live in God's strength, not my own
*To truly grasp God's grace and His love for me
*To selflessly love the people around me, especially my husband
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