Celebrate

4,000 miles away, my sister is finishing up her senior year of college. Oh how I wish I could be there to watch her walk across the stage on Saturday. I'm so proud of her! I wish I could be there to celebrate with her in person. Instead, I'm an ocean away and trying to find ways to help her celebrate long-distance.

Celebrate. It's the theme of an e-card I sent to my sister this morning. When I saw the word "celebrate," the lyrics to a song popped into my head. "Celebrate good times, come on!" I don't even know the whole song or who sang it, but the memory of that song was solidly planted in my mind as a kindergartner - it was the theme of my first dance recital.

Yes, a kindergartner. At my first (of only two) dance recitals. A tiny kindergartner with dark straight (well, as straight as my hair has ever been) hair, dressed in purple tulle and gold sequins. (It WAS the 80s, folks. But that's not as bad as the florescent pink and turquoise poodle-skirted theme attire the next year.) I'm sorry to disappoint you, but all pictures of this kindergartner are at my parents' house, across an ocean.

This memory of myself intrigues me. Because I don't remember feeling any fear. Which is HIGHLY unusual for me. There is videographic evidence of this lack of fear. This video would reveal to you a side of me that has rarely existed - one that has rhythm and one that does not show fear.

I was shy as a youngster. When my parents sent me off to kindergarten, they were afraid I wouldn't talk to anyone. Well, they were wrong. At least eventually. You see, by fourth grade I
was getting in trouble for talking without raising my hand. (One of the few poignant memories I have of fourth grade is that my teacher taught me - as well as the rest of my classmates - to be polite.)

Why am I rambling about childhood memories, you might ask? Because most of those memories contain some element of fear. But not the sequin-attired child. Why was she fearless? Or was she fearful but doesn't remember the fear?.............

Feeling the width of the Atlantic in my heart...

This morning, my heart aches, missing my family and friends on the other side of the Atlantic. My sister graduates from college next Saturday, and this is the first family graduation I've missed. The younger of my two brothers has a new job and won't be in NY when we visit this summer, so who knows when I'll see him again. And for some reason, walking to school on the beautiful spring mornings this week has brought back lots of memories of the four years I lived in Ohio post-college. Geographical distance has put relational distance in these friendships, and I miss not knowing what's going on in their lives.

Don't get me wrong - my life is RICH and I have MUCH to be thankful for. But everything comes with a cost. For Mike and I, choosing to follow the calling God has given us means living far from those we love. And some days it hits us harder than others....

The Home Stretch

As some of you know, I've been struggling for a while with exhaustion and depletion (I'll have to share more about that in another post.) This past weekend I was once again hit with a wall of fatigue. I wondered why. Last week was a good week (overall, and energy-wise), so why did I "crash" again this weekend? Why, on Monday morning did the full five day week seem almost impossible to survive?

Because we're in the home stretch. (Seven weeks of classes plus finals week and grad week.) The final leg of a marathon. Because I (my body, my mind, and my spirit) have been, figuratively speaking, running the final stretch of a marathon for a long time now. A very long time. Over a year.

Some of you might be thinking, "What is she talking about?" Well friends, my life has been pretty constant for a while now. I could go back further, but let me just remind you of what the past twelve months have looked like for me:
- May 2009 - 4 week intense HMA (home ministry assignment) in the US, touching base with friends, family and supporters
- At the end of that HMA, Mike & I got engaged and began planning a wedding across the Atlantic
- I return to Germany at the end of May, and in addition to transatlantic wedding planning, it's the final stretch of English Camp planning
- July - August 2009 - an intense 4 weeks of English Camp, which feels more like 4 months, in the midst of which Mike returns to Germany (YAY! We're finally on the same side of the ocean)
- August 9th - English Camp staff leave
- August 10th - I start new staff orientation at BFA, jumping right into a new job without closing out the old one
- the fall is full of school stuff, learning my new job, and making a week-long trip back to the US for my brother's wedding
- Christmas break - these 3 weeks are spent in NYS celebrating Christmas with my family, plus getting married on Jan. 2nd
- Mike & I fly back to Germany in time to start the new semester on Jan. 12th
- This semester we've been continuing to learn our jobs, while also figuring out this thing called marriage. (Changing my name on everything, combining lives, learning to read each other's brains, etc.)

So perhaps you get the picture - my life has been FULL the past year, of many BIG events & changes. BUT, I'm at the point where I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Summer break is 8 weeks away, and with it comes the promise of REST. (Stayed tuned for another post about summer break plans.)

Perhaps you now understand why, when one day last week a colleague asked me, "So what big things do you have going on for the rest of the school year?" My response was a blank stare. Inside, I might have been screaming: "HELLO?! Think about what you know about my life the past year - it's time that there are NOT any big things in my life." But my external response was a blank stare, a hesitation, and then a response of "Nothing big. Just "normal" school stuff."

Around the same time, I was discussing with another friend what these next few months look like for me (oops...I mean us...another newlywed pronoun error:), and I realized that yes, these next two months are manageable, because, for the first time in a long time, the near future holds the promise of rest, a true break, and time off.

Along with that, spring has come. And with it, longer days, sunshine, and flowers. Oh the colorful flowers! I have always loved spring, the promise of new life, and how it reminds me of God's love and care for me.

Flashback to Fall....

I just found this post with a few pictures from the fall in my draft folder - evidently I never posted it. Enjoy this glimpse back a few months.

Beautiful scenery

Hanging out with Jenny (English Camp intern) one last time before she left...

Mike & I enjoyed Freiburg (a nearby city) one Saturday with Stephanie (below), an RA friend

Looking Back at St. Patty's Day

The Stuckey family, fellow BFA staffers, are dear friends of ours here. Their oldest daughter, Rachel, was my roommate before she left for Australia last summer. While living with Rachel, I was introduced to many Stuckey family traditions and celebrations, including eating green food (some natural, some food coloring enhanced) on St. Patrick's Day. This was my third year to celebrate this holiday Stuckey-style.

In early March, I was making a red velvet cake - what better way to combine my loves of dessert, chocolate, and the color red. (Side note: we tried to get a red velvet cheesecake or cake for our wedding reception, but that didn't work out. Which turned out fine, especially since I didn't exactly get to enjoy the food at our reception.) That cake ended up being more of a "mauve velvet" cake, since it wasn't dark enough to be called red. But, it did give me the inspiration to make a GREEN velvet cake for St. Patty's Day, and then I had the idea to make it SHAMROCK shaped!

Below are pictures of the cake making process. It was not perfect, but as I told the friends we dined with that evening, what it lacks in professionalism and perfection, it makes up for in spunk!

Two green heart-shaped cakes, ready to be transformed into a shamrock

The pieced together cake is ready to be frosted

Some of the tools I use to make the mess, I mean cake

The "what I lack in perfection I make up for in spunk" finished shamrock cake

Ready to enjoy our green dinner at the Stuckeys with some BFA friends

Enjoying the "Break" in Spring Break

Our last day of classes was last Wednesday, March 24th. However, today is the first full day that we feel is really "break." ACSI's (Association of Christian Schools International) ICE (International Christian Educators) Europe Conference was here at BFA from March 27 - 30th. It was a blessing to interact with Christian educators from across Europe and Africa. God is at work in our world, and it is so inspiring and encouraging to see the global perspective of His work. What a mighty God we serve!

BFA is blessed with the facilities and location to serve as host to this conference. (BFA also hosted the last ICE Europe conference in 2007.) However, we as BFA staff didn't exactly always feel the blessing of this. As a staff who is weary and has faced a challenging winter, we were weary and ready for spring break. For rest and refreshment. The work days spent setting up for the conference, and the extra work of serving meals and other tasks associated with being the host school, as well as the long days of the conference, weren't things we felt like we had energy for. I must admit I didn't hear much outward grumbling. And I don't think any (many) of us felt too negative about the conference - I think it was more the sense of weariness and fatigue that we were feeling.

But as I reflect on the conference yesterday and today, I realize how much we were able to bless our brothers and sisters by serving as host. And really, we saw the truth of "many hands make light work" in action. The steering committee put in many many many hours of hard work. Plus, we had three work teams from North America come and bless us all by cleaning, serving meals, and many other things that we might not even be aware of. They GREATLY helped to lighten the load for our BFA staff, and we thank them for their service.

I wish you all could have been here. To interact with these precious brothers and sisters. To hear the stories of how God is at work around the globe. To hear how He has protected them, or worked in spite of situations such as persecution, visas being revoked or threatened, and financial difficulties. To hear stories of revival in Africa. Who am I to doubt the power of my God and the power of prayer? God is God and we are not.

The conference ended with a banquet on Tuesday evening, which was a wonderful time of fellowship (and great food:), praising God, and hearing the story of the revival of Christian education in France. Mike and I both helped to serve for the banquet, and Mike helped to make some amazing White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake. (His dorm experience in large quantity cooking and his sense of humor were invaluable during this time. The other ladies are wonderful cooks and amazing women, but were nervous about cooking in such large quantities. Mike helped to relieve their stress and keep them laughing. He's good at that!)

Mike with the cheesecakes ready to go in the oven

Carrie and Linda with their part of the cheesecake assembly line

Banquet servers getting their instructions

(Most are work team members, with some BFA staff mixed in)

BFA's gym was transformed into a comfortable and beautifully decorated area for our meals, especially for the banquet, as you see here

Kari ready to serve for the banquet with fellow BFA staffers Debbie and Susan

PS - Maybe we're still looking for the spring part of spring break too. We have had some nice weather the past few days, but as I sit here typing, it just started to hail/slush/something. :)