Not by MY power...

Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Psalm 127:1

Unless the LORD builds English Camps....

Seeking Grace

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." (James 4:8)

I'm the one who needs to reach out to God. Sometimes when He feels farther away, it's my fault - I'm the one keeping Him away.

It's like I'm keeping God at an arm's length away. I'm trying to live life in my own strength. Why? Because I know just how much I DON'T deserve His grace and love. But I know that is so very wrong.

"But He gives a greater grace..." (James 4:6)

Grace. I want to seek His grace today.

Musings

Why do we think that we are only supposed to talk/write/email/blog about the positive things in life? That's not honest or authentic. Life is filled with both mountaintops and valleys, both of which God uses to mold and shape us. This week for me has been one of those weeks that I don't really like to have. It has not been awful - just kind of blah. I've been tired. Lazy. Less productive than I'd like to be. Reminded of how unworthy I am of my Father's love. Amazed that He chooses to use me. But feeling like I'm not really being used. Trying to learn the lessons He has for me. Wishing my heart constantly yearned for Him. But being all too aware of who and what I truly am. Feeling like a failure in so many areas. But trying to see the Truth. Oh that I would wrap myself in the Truth of the Father's love.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
...

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I Love People!

This past Wednesday through Saturday was "re:group" - our JT conference. We ventured 3-4 hours away to a beautiful Christian conference center. Many of you can easily imagine how excited I was to spend time with over 100 fellow JT missionaries who work in Europe. Even though the majority of these people live and work in the same area I do, we are involved in a variety of different ministries, so we don't always get a chance to interact much. It was a joy to be able to fellowship with these co-workers, and to be challenged by the speaker as we were reminded of what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus. Is the need my master, or is the Lord my Master?

Why I Do What I Do!

During this part of the year, I spend a lot of time at my computer planning camp details. I'll admit, sometimes that's hard for me. But when I stop to remember why I do what I do, it motivates me (and usually puts a smile on my face). In case you didn't already know, I LOVE ENGLISH CAMP! :) Why? Because I love the campers! And I love to watch how God works in the lives of both campers and staff. And in my life.

The pieces of the puzzle for 2008 camps are starting to come together. The curriculum project I've been a part of (and have spent countless hours working on) is nearing completion. We have a theme. Details are starting to fall into place. I can picture it! Amazing! I am anxiously praying and waiting to see what God does through this summer's camps!

Since I can't tangibly share with you pictures of what this summer's camps will look like (check back with me in July and August:), allow me to share with you some memories from the 2007 camps:

This is why I do what I do!

A Slightly Long Update Mostly About Retreat

Was it really a week ago already that I boarded a bus (or 6 buses, rather) with approximately 250 BFA students and 50 staff to head to Nürnberg (Nuremberg in English)? A bus ride that took over 8 hours on Friday (because of wrong turns and a good German stau , or traffic jam) and 6 hours on Sunday. A bus ride during which I observed games of Mafia (creative renditions involving such things as the Salem witch hunts and Sparta) and discussions of everything from free will and predestination to future plans to musical tastes to family to last weekend’s or next weekend’s plans.

I learned much about BFA students/MKs last weekend. These teens are dynamic, talented, and amazing. But a lot of them have developed cynicism toward Christianity, retreats, etc. because they’ve experienced/observed so many of the ups and downs of ministry and Christian life. Some of them are cynical because of the hypocrisy they’ve observed. Many of them are afraid to have “deep” spiritual conversations because they’re afraid of either being perceived as hypocritical or overly-spiritual (and being teenagers, they desire to conform rather than stick out like a sore thumb).

Good conversations were had last weekend. Pray that God helps the students continue to work through what they heard – to appropriately process these things and continue to grow spiritually.

During the retreat, we had whole group sessions with a speaker, breakout seminars, and small group discussion times. Another staff member and I led a discussion group consisting of 6 guys and 3 girls (mostly 10^th graders). The guys were a bit quiet, but yet engaged and observant. The 3 girls were a blessing to my heart. These young ladies have a lot of potential and sweet hearts that desire to serve God. Pray for them, and for me as I seek to continue to encourage them.

The rooms we slept in were assigned according to our weekly Wednesday night small groups. Please also pray for the seven sophomores who are in my small group.

Nürnberg is a beautiful city, rich with history. I learned a lot over the weekend about what a key city it was for the Nazis. This helped me to better understand the history and culture of the German people – the people that God has brought me here to serve. They are ashamed of how easily they were deceived. Also, they are afraid of showing too much nationalism or patriotism (there are not flags flying everywhere here like there are in the US), for fear it will be misinterpreted.

God also worked in my own life last weekend – a lot of the messages and things shared related to things that I am currently processing. Praise God for His work in my life, and please pray that He will continue to help me work through these things, and that through this He will continue to mold me into the person He wants me to be.

One of the things that has been reconfirmed to me recently is the desire I have to encourage and speak Truth into other people’s lives. The retreat speaker shared of how we might not change the world in big ways (stopping starvation, poverty, or AIDS, for example), but through small acts of obedience we can serve God and make a difference. I was reminded that God has called me to build into other’s lives through one-on-one and small group relationships. I might not reach hundreds or thousands this way, but I can help to encourage and build up the people that God has put into my life – my BFA small group girls, some of the German campers that I keep in touch with regularly, and others.

On another note, please pray for the curriculum project (based on the Narnia movie) I am currently working on. We’re getting to the final stages of this (the final few weeks), and it’s intense and demanding. I often feel inadequate to do this. Please pray for the team I am working with, and for me, that we will have the time, focus, mental clarity, and creativity needed to finish this project to the glory of God.

The Irony of Snow...

Background info #1: Winters here in Kandern are MUCH milder than what this Northern New York native is used to. I saw one snowfall here in November. My time in the States in December and January helped to assure my internal body clock that winter does still exist. I have been told that it is almost more likely for it to snow here in March (or even April) than in January or February.

Background info #2: Because the weather has been good, and therefore no snow days have been used, BFA called a “snow day” yesterday to give staff and students a break after retreat.

This morning, I woke up and noticed how grayish-white the world outside my window was. I thought to myself “Another foggy morning in Kandern.” Then I put my glasses on and realized it was SNOW (yes, my vision is that bad). I laughed at the irony of having a "snow day" yesterday (or a "snow awareness day" as some referred to it) and actually having snow today. The picture above is the scene outside my window this morning. My second Kandern snowfall.

And now (3:30pm), it is sunny and I think the snow is completely gone.

Irony.