My Amazing Mother

As you might guess from my recent posts, I've been missing my family and friends a lot recently. Don't get me wrong - I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, but sometimes I feel the width of the ocean more deeply than at other times. Today, being Mother's Day, is one of those days that I long to be with my family. To laugh and cry with them, and to celebrate the amazing blessing that our Mom is to us.

My Mom truly is an amazing woman. She would never tell you this, because in her humble way, she doesn't give herself enough credit. My Mom pours herself into other people - first into our family and then into friends. She cares for others more than she cares for herself. This love is shown in the plethora of food and baked goods she makes, the packages she sends, and the cards and letters she writes. She gives her time and her energy (what little she has) to others.

For the past thirty years, Mom has faced the challenges of having a body and a disease that work against her every moment of every day. She deals with constant pain (among other things). How she does it, I'm not sure. I don't think I could. I know her faith in God is SO strong. One of her favorite hymns is "Because He Lives." "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow..." My Mom truly believes that, and her life shows it. Her positive attitude and perseverance put me to shame. She puts most healthy people to shame with her work ethic. Last spring, I jokingly told Mom that I think God allowed her to have MS because otherwise the rest of us wouldn't be able to keep up with her.

My Mom is the glue that holds our family together in a lot of ways. She is my biggest cheerleader, and I daresay that my siblings would say the same thing. She is always there to share in my celebrations, to give me a hug, or let me cry on her shoulder. I am so thankful that I know she is only a phone call away. (How many times have I heard her say "You can call anytime"?) Always, she focuses my perspective where it needs to be - "on the blessing, not the burden" as she says. She consistently reminds me of how much God has blessed me. And one of the biggest blessings He has given me is my Mom.

I love you, Mom.

Five Years Ago Today...

Five years ago today I graduated from CU. Looking back, the past five years have not held what I would have necessarily expected them to, but I have learned that God's plans are so much better than mine. I am so thankful for where He has brought me and what He has taught me. He has blessed me so much more than I ever could have imagined or deserved, and He keeps on pouring those blessings down!

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts. "
Isaiah 55:8-9

Famous Friends

Last Friday evening, I hung out with some of my "famous friends" in Basel (just across the border into Switzerland).

The Chiquita Banana Lady, The Flash, and Larry the Cucumber

Fresh Cut Grass Flashback

As I walked home from the grocery store the other day, the scent of fresh cut grass hung in the air. No matter where I am, that smell immediately takes me back. Back home to the farm. This time, it was to the summer I was fourteen. That was the summer that I started raking most of the hay on our family dairy farm. Back then, we spent the summers “chasing hay,” as my Dad would say. We turned two hundred acres of hay into small rectangular bales – thousands of them. Tens of thousands of them. First, second, sometimes third cuttings. They all ended up in the hay mow of the barn. It was hot and dusty up there – I was thankful that mowing (rhymes with cow-ing) the hay away was not my job.

No, I was thankful to have an outdoor job. Occasionally I unloaded wagons, but usually I raked the hay. There I sat, on a John Deere tractor probably twice as old as I was, pulling the rake. I wore a tank top, shorts, and dusty old sneakers. My hair was pulled back under a baseball cap that I wore backwards. (This kept my hair from flying around, and if I wore it forward, the wind would catch the brim and the hat would go flying away.) Sunglasses shielded my eyes from the bright summer sun. I must have had more of a tomboy look than I realized, because the neighbor asked my Dad who his new “hired boy” was.

At fourteen, I didn’t like the fact that my family didn’t take family vacations like most families I knew. But looking back, I realize I had something that most of them didn’t – I got to spend every day working with my family, enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. Sure my Dad worked seven days a week, three hundred sixty-five days a year, but he was always accessible to us. We could always find him – whether he was in the barn milking or out in the fields working.

I love summers on the farm. Soaking in the warmth of the summer sun. Enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. Knowing the satisfaction (and fatigue) of a hard day’s work as the sun sets.

For the last several summers, I have split my time between Germany and the farm. But now, for this season of my life, my summers are spent entirely in Germany. Summers on the farm are one of those things I must "sacrifice" for now...

Not by MY power...

Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Psalm 127:1

Unless the LORD builds English Camps....

Seeking Grace

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." (James 4:8)

I'm the one who needs to reach out to God. Sometimes when He feels farther away, it's my fault - I'm the one keeping Him away.

It's like I'm keeping God at an arm's length away. I'm trying to live life in my own strength. Why? Because I know just how much I DON'T deserve His grace and love. But I know that is so very wrong.

"But He gives a greater grace..." (James 4:6)

Grace. I want to seek His grace today.

Musings

Why do we think that we are only supposed to talk/write/email/blog about the positive things in life? That's not honest or authentic. Life is filled with both mountaintops and valleys, both of which God uses to mold and shape us. This week for me has been one of those weeks that I don't really like to have. It has not been awful - just kind of blah. I've been tired. Lazy. Less productive than I'd like to be. Reminded of how unworthy I am of my Father's love. Amazed that He chooses to use me. But feeling like I'm not really being used. Trying to learn the lessons He has for me. Wishing my heart constantly yearned for Him. But being all too aware of who and what I truly am. Feeling like a failure in so many areas. But trying to see the Truth. Oh that I would wrap myself in the Truth of the Father's love.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
...

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom